Old disappointments. Fresh eyes.

I’m sitting at my favorite vegetarian restaurant here in Austin waiting for my food and I thought I would drop a quick line to you to let you know what’s been going on. On Friday I left for Atlanta because I was in the running and one of the top finalists to be on a brand new show for a major network. I was sequestered in my hotel room for five days and wasn’t allowed to leave unless it was with a production assistant who then had to escort me. Needless to say I had massive cabin fever but it was well worth it because this was a huge opportunity.

It wasn’t easy for me to make this decision to pick up and go on blind faith. I knew that there was a chance I might not be selected but I also know what I bring to the table so knowing this information, I left my job (after three weeks), made arrangements for my Laney girl (my dog), and handled all the stuff that’s a part of being an adult. 

Oh, did I mention that if I were to be selected I would be gone for a month? 

Yeah, so this was me taking a chance on what would potentially be a huge opportunity with a lot of exposure so I can keep doing on a bigger level. 

While I was packing on Tuesday night I got a call from my Talent Producer and she tells me I didn’t make it. 

I didn’t make it. 

Initial reaction– absolute peace washed over me.
Secondary reaction– I start crying like 15 minutes later.

Here’s something you may not know about me.

I’ve spent a lot of my life avoiding disappointment like the plague by controlling everything around me.

And what I’m learning is that the more I try to control, the more out of control I feel. So, I’m not controlling anymore. I’m taking a different approach to life. I’m letting go. And, while I’m still very much an active participant in my life, there is something truly liberating about sitting back and observing.

You see, even though I try to control things in my life, I have an immense amount of blind faith in a Higher Power. The buck doesn’t stop with me. And I know that.

But I’m human right? Of course I’m going to get upset and disappointed. Of course I got scared and nervous about what’s next.

I’ve learned a few things about handling disappointment and having the courage to keep going along the way. 

I want to share three tips to dealing with disappointment after you’ve courageously taken a risk.

It isn’t easy to turn your world upside down but then you DO, you expect results to work in your favor. And when they don’t turn out the way you expected it to, it can feel real crappy like, “What the heck, I put myself out there and I didn’t get what I wanted.”

Counterproductive attitude.

Here’s how to handle disappointment like a boss:

  1. You’re not dead yet. You’ll have plenty of other opportunities. I know it feels like this was the THING that would take you to another level. Even in relationships, someone may let you down. In fact, they will. Ok, you’re still alive right? People make mistakes right? Do you want to harp on it forever, or do you want to work on making it right, moving on and living your life? Up to you.
  2. Move on. I know you had a certain idea or expectation in your head of how things should have worked out. The last thing you need to be doing is harp and brood and feel sorry for yourself. Now some may think this is a very callous approach. But I see it as being strong, being realistic and having compassion for yourself. You can either sit and beat yourself up, or you can allow yourself to grieve, mourn, feel sorry for yourself (for a hot second) AND keep it moving.
  3. It wasn’t for you. We suffer and get all upset because we think that the reality of the  situation should be other than what it is. But isn’t that going against reality? Suffering begins the minute we don’t want to accept what’s actually happening and expect things to be different. If you wanted something and you didn’t get it and are super upset about it just tell yourself this:

“If it was meant for me I would have it. But I didn’t get it and it didn’t happen, and that’s exactly the way it was supposed to work out.”

I hope this helps and if you ever want to talk more about handing your disappointments don’t hesitate to reach out. Email me at vasavi@vasavikumar.com or set up a consult with me at www.calendly.com/vasavi/let-s-chat