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BLOG communication happinessJanuary 8, 2014

On receiving feedback

After I sent out this email last week we had quite a few unsubscribes. While I’m not a huge metrics and stats person, it definitely was something that didn’t surprise me given the nature of how the message was shared.

First:

the subject heading said: “yes your shit does stink”

Second:

the first line of the email contained the word “bullshit”

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And if you read the entire post you would know that there were a few other things that I said that may have rubbed a few people the wrong way.

I received this email from one of my subscribers:

Hi Vasavi,
 
That’s just about the grossest subject line I think I’ve ever seen. And immediately in your first sentence you’re talking about “bullshit.” It looked like one of those nasty, repellant subject lines that I see in my “junk” mail folder from spammers.
 

There was more to this email but you get the picture. I wrote back to this subscriber and we had a beautiful exchange filled with understanding and grace.

However, my initial reaction was:

Oh crap, I messed up” followed by “Great now she hates me. I knew I shouldn’t have spoken so honestly.”

Before I continue on, I want you to think about a time in your life where you spoke your truth, spoke honestly, straight from your heart, and received backlash.

How did you feel? Did you make yourself wrong? Did you want to fight back? Did you want to crawl under a rock and hide forever?

That’s how I felt.

Not everyone will like what you have to say in the way that you say it.

The question I asked myself (and am asking you) is:

Is it possible to receive harsh criticism, feedback, and sometimes slap-in-the-face insults and still remain unshakeable and rooted in the fundamental truth that who you are at the core doesn’t need to be defended at all?

It’s not easy and I would be lying if I said it was.

The email that I sent was one where I was completely unfiltered. Now, I could have just as easily written some watered down email that I thought would have me “look good” to my subscribers (including you), but then I would be perpetuating duality in my life.

The idealized self image that I show the world, and the Vasavi in her private and unguarded moments where I curse, drop F-bombs, get angry, and has a short temper.

Now I don’t know about you, but maintaining two (sometimes more) images is EXHAUSTING.

No one benefits from that. Not me, not you, not anyone.

If you are offended by my emails, feel free to unsubscribe. I completely understand and am honored for the time that we had together.

However, if you are receiving value from the content that I share in the way that I share it– then I am grateful to have you here, engaging with me, emailing me your thoughts, and commenting on the blogs that I write.

Ultimately, the greatest challenge is not to be evolved or awakened. That’s the easy stuff.

The greatest challenge is to discover and experience what it means to be fully human. (tweet that)

To learn how to listen without judgement and prejudice.

To realize that you are me, and I am you.

The challenge boils down to us practicing what we already know with our loved ones, or partners, our parents, our children, our friends.

It’s easy for me to “preach” all day to you and to my “fans” and “followers.”

But you want to know what’s even harder? Practicing what I know with my parents, my husband, my friends, the people in my life who I know will easily disagree with me. And learn to take their feedback with grace.

We are all so very human.

Thank you for being here.

Love,

Vasavi

 

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