keepin’ it real: how to make sure your needs are met

When was the last time you were able to say…

“I need _______.”

… without worrying about guilt, or retaliation?

For some reason, so many of us have trouble explaining our actions clearly, and expressing what we really want. We’ll do almost anything to avoid sitting someone down and laying it all out on the table.

So how do we go about cutting through that fear, so we can truly understand the needs of others as well as our own?

This week’s question, from the awesomely courageous Mike, is about just that:

“I found out about you because my wife loves your stuff, and I had to ask you a question: my wife is always complaining that I’m not there at home, that I’m always missing dinner, and that it’s such a burden for her to take care of the kids. I’m busy at work trying to get promoted because I really want to provide for my family, so I don’t know how to handle her, how to respond to her, and what I’m doing wrong. Please help.”

Watch the video below to find out what that is!


First off, when a conflict of this nature surfaces, there’s usually more than one reason for it. A ton of factors are probably at play here, and it’s important to acknowledge that arguments are a way to express how we’re feeling deep down without saying anything directly.

When you find yourself in a situation like this, there’s one HUGE question you need to ask yourself right off the bat.

So now I want to know: are you comfortable asking for what you want, and seeing your own needs met? Do you sometimes find yourself focused on everyone’s needs but your own? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments, or just shoot me an email at



Have you heard? I’ve got some great stuff cookin’ for ya in 2013, including an awesomely revamped website. Keep your eyes peeled – the virtual ribbon gets cut on February 1st. Can’t wait to show you!