1. Your Kids
Your kids did not ask to be born to you. They are a gift from the Universe. It is up to YOU to make your life work in spite of having children. Now, to be transparent, I do not have children. However, I have a 7 month old hyperactive Golden Retriever named Laney who takes up a lot of my time. For the first 3 months of having Laney in our life I used her as the reason why I couldn’t work out in the morning. Needless to say, this story wasn’t working for me and so, I made an executive decision to put her in doggy daycare. Now, I’m not saying you put your child in daycare. What I am pointing to is that in order for you to make things happen in your life (personal, financial, professional, physical, etc.) you have to be willing to take charge. Maybe that looks like creating a sassy schedule. Yes, I just said sassy schedule. So for example, instead of putting “working out” I have on my schedule ‘Snatching my Sexy Back” (courtesy of my mentor Lisa Nichols). Whatever it may look like for you, start taking control of how your day goes and release the need to use your children as a crutch to stay stuck.
2. Your Childhood (aka Your Parents)
Newsflash: you aren’t a child anymore and your parents did the best that they could with what they had. Blaming your childhood for why you are where you are in your life is a road going nowhere. The inner child in you needs healing, so take time to be with yourself and have a compassionate conversation with “little” you about how you are choosing to move on with your life.
3. Your Extended Family (and in-laws)
Your mother-in-law, sister-in-law, aunt, cousin, uncle, father-in-law are who they are. Often I hear from my clients that they can’t stand being around certain family members. My coaching for them is to set healthy boundaries. As Oprah says, “You are responsible for the energy you bring into the world, and for the energy you allow in to your space.”
4. The Economy
If the economy is to blame, then how come so many people are generating wealth into their lives? One word: mindset. Your mindset determines how your life will look. The economy has been one of the main reasons I hear people give as to why they can’t seem to attract wealth and abundance into their lives. Stop blaming the economy and start looking at how YOU can monetize your gifts and skills to have what you want.
Blaming yourself for why you are the way you are, or why you are in the position that you are in life may seem noble and responsible. But the fact of the matter is, until you start doing something about the awareness that you have, it doesn’t make a difference. Ok, so you know that you self sabotage yourself, then how about enrolling a friend to hold you accountable? How about hiring a coach who will stand for your greatness and remind you every time you let yourself off the hook about what YOU said you wanted to create in your life? Either way, knowing and doing are two very different things. Unless you start taking radical action in your life then all you will be left with is “information constipation” (awesome word combo courtesy of my friend and colleague, Doreen Rainey).
Schedule. That is all I have to say. Create a schedule where you get to have it all. Hold yourself to what you put down on your schedule. Remember, time is simply 12 numbers in a circle.
Dirty green paper. I’m just sayin’. We allow our lives to be controlled by money. Yet, we fail to realize that we have the power to generate it. Start noticing where you use money as the source of all of your challenges in life. Create a budget. Yes, I said budget. Budgets are cool because they are structured. Structure gives you freedom. Yup.
8. Your Spouse
Listen, you chose your spouse. You made a commitment to be with him/her in sickness and in health. And I think the most important thing I have to say about this excuse is: You cannot change your spouse. Ever. At all. Period. Start by looking at YOU. Where are you letting yourself off the hook in your relationship? Where are you expecting your spouse to read your mind? What can you take responsibility for in your relationship?
Are you using any of these excuses in your life today? What will you do to break free from it? I would love to hear your comments!