How much happiness can we handle? Many of us have likely never sat down to think about this topic, although we ought to. Doing so may allow us to recognize a long history of self-sabotage that is present in our own lives.
Gay Hendricks references the “upper limit problem” in his book, “The Big Leap.” In short, he explains that there is only so much happiness, love, and success that we can handle until we sabotage it.
We’ve all been there at one point—we finally arrive at that ideal place in life that we have been dreaming of for as long as we can remember—we’re smiling, laughing, and enjoying life. We’re appreciating the little things and we’re soaking up the sunshine. But then, something snaps and we choose to knock down that tower that we’ve been working so hard to build. We’re not supposed to be this blissfully happy for good, right? Wrong.
We purposefully disrupt the harmony in our lives as we tell ourselves that we are essentially unworthy of being THIS great, or scare ourselves out of our greatness by running from the responsibilities that accompany our new position in life. When we take the time to think about it, this is a gravely destructive move to make, as we’re ultimately choosing to bring our lives to shambles. If we saw a friend behaving this destructively, we’d all have a talk with that person. It’s time that we have that same talk with ourselves.
Hendricks suggests that the “upper limit” issue is manifested through four hidden barriers. One of these roadblocks is “the crime of outshining.” This barrier ultimately censors us, urging us to stand in the corner instead of basking in the light of our own greatness. We are reluctant to outshine those around us—siblings, coworkers, friends, and so on—because something inside tells us it isn’t right.
While this is a fear that we can learn to overcome, we’ll never fully rid ourselves from it. Hendricks instead suggests simply acknowledging a nagging fear like this one and recognizing its presence, as being aware of it is the first step to making important changes.
To make that first move on the road to change, we need to put an end to our own self-sabotage by changing the way we think. Yet this is obviously not an easy project to tackle alone. Imagine having someone to work with who only encouraged our greatness. We can have just that by hiring a life coach.
Fully embrace the beautiful light you could bask in with some help from a life coach, and take that leap of faith today. The time is now, and the life you’ve always dreamed of awaits.